Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

Why not? Resolutions. 2012.

4 Comments
Posted 03 Jan 2012 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am awesome, marriage, motherhood

Hi! I’m back again! How’s your mom? Great.

I haven’t done new year’s resolutions in a few years, so I figure I’ll give them a shot. I’m going to try to keep it simple, but I think we all know this will fall apart by mid-February. It’s the thought that counts though, AMIRIGHT?

Hokay.

  1. Keep it clean.
    This is in reference to two things. First, my house. Since I haven’t really blogged in like, a fafillion years, I need to update you with the following information. Last night I washed a pan that I used on Christmas Eve. Go ahead and read that again. Yes, it had been sitting on my kitchen counter with dried up brussel sprout remnants on it for over 9 days. Shit gets dirty in our house and it just stays that way, due to no one having time and all of us being slobs. BUT ENOUGH OF THAT. I’m going to make sure that every night, the dirty dishes are in the dishwasher, and all of Abby’s toys are back in her room and clothes are put away…okay. I’m already tired just typing that. But for serious though – this needs to happen. My brain starts to fall apart in the disarray.

    Also, must stop using swears in front of Abbers, or letting her watch non-kid friendly stuff. We had been letting her watch Family Guy (we’re up for a parenting award, I’m aware) and unfortunately she started watching the Christmas episode. After the episode was nearly over (the plot was Stewie wanted to kill Santa – TOTALLY kid friendly) we turned it off after realizing it was not even close to appropriate for her. But not before she started saying “Kill Santa!” Right. No more swears. Or Family Guy. Keep it clean.

  2. Purge, purge, purge.
    After Christmas, it became even MORE glaringly obvious that we have too much stuff in our house. Mostly, ABBY has too much stuff in our house. Yes, I have a lot of clothes and shoes but OMG. THE TOYS. They’re everywhere. We haven’t really shifted the baby toys out of the rotation yet, and thus crap is overflowing and all over the place, which contributes to my clean-house issues. We have to get rid of some of this stuff, whether it’s just storing it out of the way, or donating it, IT HAS TO GO. My friend Mae said something about stuffed animals the other day and I totally agree. Although I don’t know if I could get rid of any of Abby’s because I love them so much, but there’s SO MANY.

  3.  Lay off the drugs.
    (I know, this is starting to sound like a re-hab checklist, but whatever. They’re my resolutions.)
    I mentioned back in the fall that I had started medication to make the crazies go away. They’ve been helping, for sure. But they’re also kind of numbing me out. (Remember how I don’t blog anymore? Yeah, I’m passing the blame that-a-way.) I know I’m not better yet, I still have some spectacular panic attacks, but I’m getting there. And I hope to be off these suckers sometime this summer. That would be kick ass. Turns out feeling your feelings is pretty awesome. I miss those days.

  4. Make it pretty.
    I’ve mentioned making over our bedroom and attic on this blog a few times. Know how far along I am with those? NOWHERE. I have a brain full of ideas and nothing to show for them. I would love to just DO IT. Turn our bedroom into a serene snooze-room and the attic into a shared office and guest room. And I plan on doing it this year. I know that I don’t have to do everything all at once. Baby steps. I’m cool with that. But I have to START. All I need to do is get some fresh paint on the walls and the rest will fall into place. Now, just to get the paint up on the walls…And finally…the obvious…ever present resolution…

  5. BLOG MORE. (and take more photos)
    I say this every time I blog lately. I truly DO want to blog more. However, see #3. I don’t know why, but I just don’t have it in me. When Abby’s finally in bed and the hubs and I have that hour or so before WE go to bed, I can’t imagine being productive. I just sit. Or I hop on the interwebs and Pinterest screws my night over. (It’s happened to you too, I know it.) Not to mention we’ve actually been going to bed around Abby’s bedtime lately. Pretty soon we’ll be in bed so we can catch the Wheel before it’s over at 7.

    So in addition to (Christ on a cracker, what the hell do I think I’m doing?) making sure everything’s picked up before I go to bed, I want to dump all my photos onto the computer, and craft a post or two a week. It doesn’t seem that hard, even though lately I know it is. But I am really going to try. And I think I might try a little blog makeover this year. Could be fun, right?

Wow. Okay. That’s a lot. But really it isn’t. And in the long run, these will help me feel more productive and like a real human being again. That would be awesome.

Are you attempting resolutions this year?

Fresh ink.

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Posted 24 May 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am awesome, marriage, The Hubs

Technically, re-inked. I had this touched up last week to be darker. That Tiffany blue just wasn’t holding up. Honestly, I love it even more now. (I still wear my rings, just not while it’s healing…)

20110524-032045.jpg

My therapist made me do it.

3 Comments
Posted 18 Mar 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, house stuffs, I am awesome, marriage, motherhood, other people are awesome, retail therapy, TheRapists

I bought something online.

But it was necessary.

I visited my therapist this week and unloaded on her.  She agreed that the culmination of the past month’s events would be enough to send anyone over the edge, no less someone who’s very familiar with PPD/A.

Sometimes it just takes hearing it from someone else’s mouth to make it all the more easy to deal with.

I can’t control a lot of things, like when Abby gets sick, or when scary stuff happens at work. I CAN try to control other things, like how much sleep I get, or stopping myself from feeling overwhelmed.

So, we devised a plan which I later shared with the hubs about how we as a family can help me, the mama, not go off the deep end. One plan is how we handle our sleep situations when Abby’s sick (like alternating having someone sleep on the couch (and that person gets the uninterrupted sleep) every other night). Another is assigning chores and days to complete them for the house.  I left her office feeling optimistic; still on-edge, but optimistic. Once I finally got enough cojones to talk to the hubs (like I said before, I have communication issues) and we discussed things, I feel better.

Immediately, I knew what I had to do.

I had to buy this:

The bamboo dry erase board by CB2. I had the remnants of the gift card left after making our combined birthday purchase of this duvet. So, after docking the $35 I had left on there, this only cost me about $35 (with shipping).

I know, I broke my month long online shopping hiatus. But I really feel like this will be SO VERY HELPFUL in our kitchen so we’re both reminded of our daily chores. If we know I’m only going to do laundry on certain days of the week, I know it should all be downstairs near the washing machine or it’s not going to get done. And if the hubs sees that it’s Sunday night and he should take care of the recycling & garbage, then I wont’ have to be a nag. Hopefully, it’ll turn our house into a well oiled machine, instead of being on OSHA’s watch list with a manic, chocolate & wine inhaling micro-manager at the helm.

Not to mention this so much prettier than those ugly white dry erase boards. Am I right? Can I get a witness?

In any case, I will not buy anything else this month. And if I don’t, I’m still $165 richer than I was last month.

In other news? SNOW IS MELTING. ABBY IS GETTING BETTER. LIGHT AT THE END OF THE WINTER TUNNEL.

And I think this weekend we’re going to finally replace the point & shoot camera I lost on the way to Mexico earlier this year. (Hence the lack of cute Abbers videos lately.) Get ready to be bombarded by the cute.

La La Love You

4 Comments
Posted 15 Feb 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category marriage, other people are awesome, The Hubs

While most of my day yesterday was spent chasing after a nearly 16 month old with a kleenex and drool rag, the hubs and I did have reservations at a great restaurant called Spill the Wine. I had a delicious viognier hybrid of sorts while the hubs had a wine pairing for all 4 courses of his meal. It was an awesome night. The in-laws kept Abby overnight, which essentially resulted in me sleeping until 2:30am and then tossing and turning for the next 3.5 hours until my alarm went off. *sigh*

But dinner was good. As are the gorgeous roses the hubs surprised me with.

Yes, I am wearing a blanket & the hubs has a sweatshirt on his shoulders. We are classy. (photo from mexico)

Love you lots, my dear. Nine years of Valentine’s days. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

Do it again.

2 Comments
Posted 04 Jan 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category marriage, other people are awesome, wedding whatnots

I’ve been married to the hubs for a little over 3 years now. Nearly an eternity, am I right?

(insert nervous laughter here)

Anyway, when I got married, half of my friends from my hometown/high school had already tied the knot. However, only a few friends in the great city of Minneapolis had gotten married. So, while I got some broad tips & tricks from my long time BFFs, my bestie in wedding planning became The Knot. Every single vendor I booked was due to recommendations from people on The Knot. While it was an awesome resource, it lacked the personal experience of seeing the vendor/venue’s work first hand.

Recently, a few good friends have gotten married in the MPLS, and another is planning for her big day in June. I’ve been lucky enough to join her in wedding dress hunting, and have been hearing about venues and vendors that are the hot pick of today.

Honestly…it makes me want to do it again. I mean, you know, again to the hubs…with an unlimited budget…as if we’d never done it before.

A big reason for wanting to do it again is a photographer that my girls have been using. She takes absolutely GORGEOUS photos and I could only DREAM to be in one of them. For example, my beautiful friend Regan:

(source)

Is that not breathtaking?! You can see the rest of Regan + Mike’s photos here, at Ai Ling’s photography site. Between her photography, and looking at the new styles of wedding gowns, it has me wishing that it would be kosher to renew our vows at our five year anniversary. Complete with a new gown and venue and lots of cocktails.

What would you want to do if you could do it again? Or if you haven’t tied the knot, what is a dream you have for your big day?

It’s been real, 2010.

1 Comment
Posted 31 Dec 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, marriage, motherhood, paparazzi, The Hubs

Careful, now.

5 Comments
Posted 13 Oct 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, marriage, motherhood, The Hubs

Let me start this post by saying this:

I’m about to talk about stuff that people such as co-workers, men in general and my family probably don’t want to read. So, if you’re any of these people, kindly exit stage right. I’ll wait patiently with my Minnesota Twins Homer Hanky on my head. And a mustache.

Alright, if you’re still here and you’re one of those people, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Yesterday, I had a visit with John the Midwife. Don’t get ahead of yourself, I’m not pregnant like the rest of the blogosphere seems to be. However, the time had come. The IUD had to come out.

AGAIN – let me reiterate – I DON’T WANT TO GET PREGNANT.

Although Mirena is supposed to do a plethora of wonderful things, the only positive I’ve had from it is not getting pregnant. (cheers and applause) The 2 weeks of bleeding a month, random cramping and possible emotional side effects? It’s been 10 months. I’ve had enough.

Honestly, I’m really bummed this didn’t work out. Not getting pregnant and never having to think about it? AWESOME. Like, TOTALLY AWESOME. The side effects were just outweighing the positive.  But then the question arose – what do I do now?!

After a good long talk with the hubs, and then with John the Midwife…I came to a conclusion. I’m back to NFP/charting/temping/TTA and ::ehem:: other barriers.

I did this for a full year before we tried to have a baby, and it worked quite well. More importantly, I was hormone free and felt really good. Granted, now that I know what pregnancy and childbirth are like, I am deathly afraid of becoming pregnant again, which is making me doubt this method…but I think it’ll be okay. I’m about to renew my subscription to a certain website, and already feel better. My brain feels clearer. Who knows, maybe this will help me with my anxiety? Only time will tell.

So, here’s to not getting knocked up, eh?

I’m exhausted.

2 Comments
Posted 05 Oct 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category marriage, motherhood, not so much

I hate when I wish for entire weeks to be over, when it’s only Tuesday.

As I hinted in my last post – we got the bug over the weekend. Well, to be specific, I got it Saturday (along with the  mom-&  sister-in-laws). I thought it was a weird hangover caused by a mere 3 beers the night before. When I threw up at 3 in the afternoon, it just felt wrong. But I felt better. And then I felt worse. MUCH MUCH WORSE. The hubs kept Abbers away from me all night and slept in the living room so I could rest. I slept like crap, but felt better Sunday.

Monday morning, the hubs wakes up to find SURPRISE! He has it now. I have Mondays off, so I kept her in the living room and away from the sick room and she was happy as a clam. Teething like a mofo, but hyper and cute and cuddly as could be. We had an awesome day together. I chose to sleep on the couch as the hubs had, and put Abby down, only to have her wake up like, 6 times during the night. At 1:30, I brought her onto the couch with me where she slept on my chest for an hour before I brought her back to bed.  It was so cozy, and I just figured she was in the clear, she’d survived without getting ill.

This morning, shortly after only finishing half of her bottle, she threw up. And I immediately felt like a failure.

I know it’s not my fault, and I know there’s not much I could have done to keep her from getting this, but I felt it anyway. The mother-in-law came over today to watch her, and sadly she was the one to get puked on. I then felt horrible that I couldn’t be home with my daughter when she was going to be at her sickest. Abby didn’t seem to mind to much, she was settled in nicely on her grandma’s lap with a book.

Then I tried to leave for work.

She whined and reached out for me.

I picked her up and tried my hardest not to cry. Especially in front of her, with her already being sick and upset. I teared up but kept myself together, gave her a gentle squeeze and she grabbed on harder, sensing I was going to try to hand her back to grandma. I let go, said “See you in a few hours, sweetpea!” walked out of the house and lost my shit. I cried the whole 2 blocks to the train.

I’m tired. I’ve eaten 3 pieces of toast, a bowl of soup, a bowl of cereal and a box of macaroni & cheese since Friday night. I don’t want my daughter to be sick. I want my husband to be back to 100%.

I want this week to be over.

Sometimes, when I get an idea…

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Posted 30 Sep 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, house stuffs, marriage, motherhood, The Hubs

With all the basement revamp talk happening (I refuse to call it remodeling because we’re only getting new floors and maybe a new coat of paint but yes A NEW BATHROOM (sort of)), I’ve been thinking a lot about our house and how we use it. I’m just so excited to get our basement back and have a space for entertaining and SPORTSSSSS and watching movies complete with our fancy sound system that we haven’t used in over a year {deep breath} that it made me RETHINK the fact that all this should be done with our dear Abbers in mind. As much as the hubs (whose birthday is today – HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD BALLS!) would like to call the basement “The Man Cave” – let’s be real. I’m going to use it just as much. As is our Abbers. So let’s at least make it appropriate for all of us, mmmkay?

The other day I started thinking about a room down there that will still have carpet (since it has a door and thus, no cat pee) and how it has always been “the music room” complete with drums, bass, guitar, bongos blah blah blah I never go in there. I’m happy that the hubs has a room in our house where these things can go (even if when he plays he may as well be sitting right in front of me since it’s like, negative sound proofed), but suddenly I had a vision. A vision of the hubs and I watching a movie or entertaining friends while a football game is on…and Abby having that room as her playroom full of toys and play kitchens and dress-up costumes…and HOLY CRAP THAT IS THE BEST IDEA EVAR. And like in the movies, there was the screech of braking tires in my brain because that will more than likely never happen. Because…where would the precious drums and cymbals and other such equipment that gets used once every 3 months go?

{you sense my sarcasm here, right?}

I don’t want to take that room away from my husband. This is obvious mostly in the fact that I’ve never mentioned this idea to him, because I don’t want him to think I don’t understand how much he LOVES that he can have that room. I’ve run through scenarios where he puts the drums in the laundry room and I get that room for Abby…but the litter boxes are in the laundry room. I couldn’t expect him to play in there. I WOULDN’T. But…but…THAT ROOM. IS PERFECT. FOR A PLAYROOM.

A girl can dream. It’s a good thing for Josh that Abby doesn’t understand much that I’m saying yet and also doesn’t understand the concept of a dedicated playroom, because if I told her my idea? HE WOULD NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT. FROM EITHER OF US.

Progress. Sort of.

6 Comments
Posted 01 Sep 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category marriage, motherhood, TheRapists

I haven’t really talked much about my escapades with therapy. It seems really personal, but at the same time I like being able to tell people that things DO get better. So I have to talk about it in some context.

There are a lot of things I talk about in therapy that I won’t talk about here though. Personal stuff is just that. PERSONAL. And it will more than likely stay that way.

I will say this: I don’t feel depressed anymore. I haven’t for a while. I don’t know if it’s because I have so much going on that I don’t really have time to dwell on things anymore, or if I’ve “gotten over” or worked through the issues I had that were depressing me, or if I’m just…you know…better.

However, my therapist was right when she said I have anxiety issues. I have had no less than 10 panic attacks in the past month, some of a lesser degree than others, triggered sometimes by things I do not understand. Three out of seven days a week I get “anxiety stomach” and try REALLY hard to make it go away. Usually it just has to on it’s own. She says I’m so maxed out with my anxiety that it really doesn’t take much to send me into an attack. And that is SO true.

Most recently, I had my dear friend (who is like, WEEKS away from having a baby) over for dinner. I didn’t see it coming, but just seeing her so pregnant made my heart race. Then we were on the couch talking labor and baby stuff…enter full blown anxiety attack. (Even recounting the situation right now is making me light headed.) I mentioned this to my therapist. By “mentioned,” I mean I got loud and talked fast and pretty much needed a paper bag to calm down. Next session (which won’t be for a couple of weeks) we’re going to talk about EVERYTHING. My whole pregnancy and labor will be discussed. And…I’m glad. I know that I need to work through my anxiety surrounding it so that when/if we want to have another baby I won’t have to be committed. The thought of having to talk about it all is making my heartrate go up.

::deep breaths::

So that’s where I stand. I’m better in some respects, and maybe worse in others. But I’m dealing. And I’m working on it. And so far, without medication. I will say I kind of wish I could be on something so I could avoid the anxiety stomach I get, but being without medication is also nice.

Stay tuned.

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