Archive for February, 2010

4 months.

Posted 28 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, paparazzi

My dear sweet Abigail,

You’re FOUR MONTHS OLD TODAY. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor.

To celebrate being such a big girl, you decided to show us your new skills – babbling, blowing raspberries and spitting all over your daddy. He couldn’t be more proud of you.

You’re just getting so stinkin’ big. We tried to be away from you for a week while in Mexico and we simply couldn’t stand it. We missed you so much. Never again will we leave you for that long. Or…until we forget how much it sucked being away from you.

Pretty soon you’re going to start teething. And sitting up on your own. And then driving your own car. And then calling me to tell me you met some awesome dude and you’re going to get married and I’ll be all “But what kind of music does he listen to” and then…

Whatever. Point being, you can slow down with the growing up. It’s already going too fast.

Love you much,
Momma & Daddy.

An apology.

Posted 27 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, I am a moron

Tonight it was brought to my attention through a third party that my actions on a baby board that I frequent made a LOT of people mad, and I was banned from said board for my actions.

God’s honest truth, when I found out this evening why I was banned – I nearly cried.

I’ll put it into context for people who have no idea what I’m talking about. I belong(ed) to a baby board. Believe it or not, drama tends to erupt on said board. I got involved in the drama….I felt and knew that I was right and the moderators were wrong, and got REALLY mad when they took the side of the drama maker. I put an image in my siggy (if you don’t understand this, pull me aside and let me know, I don’t really want to explain what a siggy is) to express my displeasure with the actions of the board moderators and managed to offend a shit-ton of people. My impression was that I was banned because of the language I used against the mods. Turns out it was much more.

It was never EVER my intention to offend people when I chose to boycott the board in that manner. I was EXTREMELY upset and was flying by the seat of my pants, as it were. I have an “edgy” sense of humor to say the least and never for a moment thought that people might take what I posted out of context.

I love everyone. Ask anyone – ANYONE – who knows me and they can attest to this. I don’t have patience for jerks or drama. But I LOVE EVERYONE. Regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation or religious affiliation – WHATEVER…I’m the most kindhearted and accepting person you’ll ever meet. Even if I can outsnark the average bear.

Point being – I’m SORRY. I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have offended. Chances are the people I offended don’t read my blog, but I feel so horribly for having committed such an offense that I feel as though I should issue a public apology. So, here it is. If you need more clarification or want to contact me to discuss the matter further, email me.

I filled the hubs in on what happened, and he said it best. I totally “pulled a John Mayer.”

And I did. Except, I’m not as much of a douchebag (at least I don’t think I am) and hope that my apology is acknowledged as more heartfelt than his. Because it sincerely is.

I need a new bag, right?

Posted 26 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category retail therapy
H Bag in Gynko by Brooklyn Industries

Okay…good. Now, someone give me $75.

(NO, internets, I am not thinking about the close to 50 purses hanging on the wall in our spare bedroom right now. None of those will do. This is the one I want need.)

Blargh: Why I should have stopped at a pharmacia in Mexico.

Posted 25 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, paparazzi
lil’ miss abbers. no reason for this pic except OMG I LOVE HER.

I’ve almost completely convinced myself that I have ADD. I have been thinking about a fafillion things other than work WHILE AT WORK today, including but not limited to:

  • Getting my taxes done
  • Blogging about Mexico
  • Abby in general
  • Signing up to attend BlogHer
  • Taxes
  • Trying to plan a trip to Vegas in April
  • Scheduling a weekend to visit my parents
  • Penciling in laundry
  • Pondering why I can’t be a stay at home mom
  • Oh, and taxes.

I keep trying to think about just ONE THING AT ONCE and it’s not happening.

Did you know you can buy Ritalin in “pharmacies” in Mexico? Without a prescription? Because you can – amongst other things, like Amoxicillin and Viagra. Also a tidbit I picked up while there – Dramamine in Mexico is called Vomicin. I shit you not. I’ll take a photo of the packaging when I get home. It was a running joke between the hubs and I during our vacation.

Anyway – I’ve been trying to figure out how to recap our Mexico trip. It had it’s own disasters. However, I can’t wrap my brain around the vacation enough to be able to write about it in a way that isn’t long, drawn out bitching. So…maybe I’ll do it in a few days when I have my head on right. We did have SOME fun. Swearzies.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep staring at my gorgous little stinker until the clock hits five.

We’re called ladies of the night.

Posted 25 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass

Voting restarted for one of the “Top Blogs” links on the right while I was in Mexico…and now I’m suffering. I used to be in the 30s! Now…not even close.

If each one of my readers (followers & subscribers) each clicked on these links after reading this post…it would help IMMENSELY.

Maybe I’ll even post a picture of me all hot, sweaty and greasy at Chichen Itza. C’mon…you know you wanna see my greased up bangs. You’ll need a lobotomy to erase the horror beauty from your brain.

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A minute and thirty seconds…

Posted 24 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, baby business, paparazzi

…watched over and over and over again while in Mexico. I deleted everything off our point & shoot before we left except this video and a couple photos so we could get our Abby fix every day.

We missed her so very much.


Abby squeals! And Momma says do it again. from jenna bee on Vimeo.

I AM AWESOME.

Posted 24 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, I am awesome

I keed I keed. I don’t want you to think I came home from Mexico with an overinflated ego. Trust me, the European girls with their topless sunbathing put my ego right in the trash where it belongs. Wait…that was my self-image.

Anyway – I’m awesome because I won THREE BLOGGER AWARDS! Krystal from Tie a Little Ribbon, jCam of My Freakin Awesome Blog and Nicci from Changing the Universe nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger award! Aww, shucks, ladies! Thanks!

(ain’t it purdy?)

Rules for this award are: I must thank the person who gave it to me…or persons (so, THANK YOU LADIES!), link their blog, c&p the picture above, list 7 interesting things about yourself, and give the award to 7 bloggers.

Seven interesting things, eh? Aside from the fact that I was bombarded with naked euro-boobs in Mexico?

1. I am an only child. Bet you didn’t see that one comin’. Or maybe you did. My favorite response to that fact is “Oh, I could tell.” Really? Is it that obvious? Did I grab your iPhone and yell “MINE!” Yeah, I didn’t think so. All joking aside though, I had a really happy childhood and loved being an “only.” Don’t let some people fool you. We’re nice people.
2. I am an anal retentive slob. I will dirty up my house like nobody’s business. Just ask the hubs about my piles of mail. (My mother is reading this and screaming NOOOOOOO because my dad does the exact same thing.) Anyway, I will leave a trail of stuff through the house. However, when I clean? It’s like the Queen of England may or may not be coming over to eat crumpets off of the undersides of my couch cushions. I mean business.
3. I love being a peeping tom. Sort of. Honestly, I love driving by people’s houses at night and looking in their windows. Just to catch a glimpse of the decor or how their home is laid out.
4. I will quote Wayne’s World until I am blue in the face. Zang.
5. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Yeah, I’ve been known to skeeze it up for the occasion. But seriously – horror movies are straight up my favorite things EVER and a holiday which promotes month long showings of craptastic “horror?” HELLS YES.
6. I have a doll collection. The hubs calls it creepy. Some of them are. Like the bride and groom “Living Dead Dolls” my auntie gave me. Most of them are very innocent. I plan on adding to it over the years and if Abby can appreciate them for their awesomeness, then they will be hers some day. :)
7. I wanted to be a doctor for a good portion of my childhood. Once I was old enough to really understand how many years of school I would have to endure and HOW MANY MORE MATH CLASSES THAT MEANT – I bailed. Even though I was in advanced math all through school, I could not STAND it. I enrolled at the U of MN as “Undecided” and before my first quarter began I had changed my degree to “Design Communication” which was later changed to “Graphic Design.” (Read NO MATH.)

Now, to the awards. If you’ve already received one before – my bad! But whatever, I think you’re cool enough so you’re going to get one again. If you haven’t…well, I’m pretty excited to have popped your Beautiful Blogger Award cherry.

Easjer at Cotton Socks.
Danse at Into the Womb.
Felicia at My Boring Life.
Fredalina at Adoption Option.
Single Grrrl at…uhh…Single Grrrl.
Aggie at There’s a Baby Out Here, People.
pmarie at Procreation – The Other Side.

A quick post from Mexico!

Posted 22 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass

I know I said I wasn’t going to be on the internet while in Mexico but I had to check in once. This trip has been…interesting to say the least. I will put it this way – I have many stories.

And ZOMG. I have been nominated for TWO blog awards? MY FIRST(s) EVER! SO excited. I shall address them when I get home.

Anyway – love you all…and I will be bloggin again soon.

Adios!

A post of randomness.

Posted 17 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, blog bidnass, I am a moron, other people are morons

Considering I’ll be arriving at the airport on my way to Mexico in less than TWELVE HOURS my mind isn’t focusing very well on any one thing in particular.

A few things though:

1.) Go ahead and take a gander at a calendar. It’s been about 3.5 months since Abby was born. I still haven’t sent out baby announcements. Now you may be thinking to yourself, “No biggie, Jenna – you missed the window…just send out cute photocards for some random holiday!” And to that I would say – EXCELLENT IDEA, internets! But could you please tell me what to do with ONE HUNDRED PERSONALIZED BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS I HAVE SITTING IN A BOX ON MY DRESSER. I shit you not when I tell you that I already have 20 of them in stamped (not yet addressed) envelopes WITH THANK YOU NOTES for gifts given God knows when. Which brings me to my other topic. I STILL HAVEN’T MAILED THANK YOU CARDS FOR MY LAST TWO SHOWERS.

My coping mechanisms for my lack of ability to complete these tasks have been procrastination, blatant ignoring of the situation and bottles of wine.

B.) The Minnesota Twins, for whom I love deeply, sent me a nice little email today telling me they are going to take a big dump on my heart that bleeds baseball and didn’t select me for their fancy lotto in attempts at getting a ticket for the home opener in the new stadium.

At this point in my bitching I’m assuming all non-baseball fans are like, “Suck it up woman! It’s just a game!” and all my baseball fanatics are all “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY IT IS SO NOT JUST A GAME.” But I can’t be too bitter because…

7.) Oh yeah – I’m going to Mexico! ::high fives all around:: SO EXCITED. Even more excited to know that this year’s trip and henceforth massive tequila consumption won’t be interrupted by something I peed on. Speaking of Abby – she’ll be staying with the in-laws so mommy and daddy being wasted won’t require a call to CPS or whatever Mexico’s equivalent is.

I was going to wrap it up there, but since this just happened:

  • Dear CNN.com Breaking News alerts emails: Thank you SO MUCH for telling me who won the Women’s Downhill gold medal! As you know, this isn’t being broadcast for viewing UNTIL TONIGHT. So essentially you’ve ruined my evening. I politely offer you my middle finger.
  • PROGRAMMING NOTE: Since I’m going on vacation and ::GASP:: not taking my laptop with me and my celly doesn’t work in foreign lands…there will be a lack of updates until my return in about a week. No tweets, no bloggy-blogs, no Facebook. I’m scaring myself. Anyway – don’t worry about me is all I’m saying. I shall return. Hopefully more tan and with a higher alcohol tolerance.

    While I’m away I encourage you to vote for my blog! I need help. I’m straight slippin’.

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    Houston, we have a babbler.

    Posted 15 Feb 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
    Category Abigail, baby business

    All of a sudden, since Friday…Abby’s begun what I assume to be a life-long skill. LONG WINDED BABBLING. She IS a girl. And I have been known to talk faster than your average lady. My point being, MY BABY IS A TALKER.

    She’s mostly making sounds like AAAOOOAOAOOOO and AHHHHHHLLLLLLLL and BUUOOOOOWWWWWW…but they’re noises and she’s so obviously trying to talk that it makes me laugh every time. SO, basically…in a week she’s laughed for real and started “talking.”

    We leave for Mexico on Thursday. Without her.

    The thought of missing another big milestone is ripping my heart out. No webcams, no cell phones, no email or facebook to keep tabs on things.

    I’ve already whispered in her ear to lay off the growing up until mommy & daddy get back. Think if I repeat it enough she’ll heed my plea?

    Yeah, I didn’t think so.